- Doctor: do you drink or smoke?
- Me: no
- Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser
if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you
Guys will never understand the joy of having your period a week before you travel.
trying to figure out someone else’s shower
*gets gay married during the purge*
Grimes by Tara Darby
Most people think of themselves as individuals, that there’s no one on the planet like them. This thought motivates them to get out of bed, eat food and walk around like nothing’s wrong. My name is Oliver Tate.
― Joe Dunthorne, Submarine